Crack.Rock.Surprise

That Time I Met Chaz Bundick, Sort Of

Chaz Bundick is to hot blasian nerds what James dean is to slick-haired white dudes. So when I decided to pay money to see him live in Melbourne—the other side of planet Earth because he’d never play in Ohio—I expected to get the greatest Toro y Moi experience of all time or at least a once-in-a-lifetime hand slap from the stage.

I managed to gain front row access by standing through the opening acts. There were three. I almost peed in a discarded pint glass next to the stage in desperation. But luckily

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Melbourne, I Have Arrived

It may have taken 39 hours, four connecting flights, seven months barbacking and the sale of my beloved Volkswagen Passat, but I finally made it to beautiful Melbourne, Australia. But oh shit! Do cigatettes really cost $20?

You would think flying from Columbus to Chicago, Chicago to Hong Kong, Hong Kong to Adelaide and Adelaide to Melbourne would be an arduous task I’d

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Crack Rock Surprise Teams Up With Geometric Afghan for the 8/12 Blend

This is an example of how time flies. Two years ago I guest-hosted the November tape for my high-school compadre Andrew Edminister’s mixtape series Geometric Afghan. It went well, and this time I just attempted to put together 45 minutes + of music I’ve been listening to this summer that I could see myself still loving two years from now. I figured that’s a pretty sound way to make something “timeless” or at least tolerable.

00:00 intro 
00:26 “jungle fever” - the chakachas
02:55 “hammers & vogues” - stalley f/ curren$y
06:16 “a thing like this” - friends
09:09 “bad bitches” - star slinger f/ stunnaman & lil b
13:03 “summertime” - kreayshawn
15:50 “about you” - xxyyxx f/ 2 chainz
19:41 “clap on” - ndeluv
20:38 liz taylor
20:56 “your woman” - white town
28:13 “help i’m alive” - metric
31:40 tape switch
31:58 “good life” - inner city
34:53 “didn’t mean to turn you on” - charrelle
37:32 “esta noche” - azealia banks
40:45 “squirt” - lil debbie f/ riff raff
43:00  i’m reading the bible
43:07 “genesis” - grimes

Download @ the Geometric Afghan site

Stampd’s Gold Studded Snapback

All-studs-everything may be a fleeting trend, but it ain’t too late to have them on your snap back—That’s still fly.

LA-based fashion team Stampd’ hand-screwed 116 studs on the front of this cap just so you can stunt for the somewhat reasonable price of $95. Not only does the hat come with a dust bag with the word “Dope” embroidered on it, the brim has the words “New Angeles” silk screened on the bottom just for you bicoastal and or indecisive people.

 

New Music: Bobby Womack f/ Lana Del Rey - “Dayglo Reflection”

Singer/songwriter Bobby Womack isn’t finished making classic music yet. His most notable songs like “Across 110th Street” and “If You Think You’re Lonely Now” capture the essence of time and place through tangible lyrics and superb production. And his newest release “Dayglo Reflection” is no exception. Featuring the hearty, old-school melodies of Lana Del Rey, “Dayglo Reflection” has a more conceptual lyrical direction than old Bobby Womack hits, but the almost trip-hop drum beat, piano and string accompaniment brings the track to a nostalgic place, and who can’t relate to nostalgia, right?

The song will appear on Womack’s forthcoming XL Recordings release “The Bravest Man In The Universe.” Listen below.

Chris Brown Just Fucked Up The Nose Ring For Everyone

Is this happening? 

(Above: Rocking a windbreaker from the Prada mens S/S 2012 line, Chris Brown appears on Instaram rocking an ill-sized nose ring. Thus, ruining nose rings for everyone.)

I obviously feel very strongly about this. I’m a guy who has a nose ring. And deciding to get my nose pierced was a long process for me. I thought about it over a year and even got my lip pierced first instead. The apprehension came from living in a society where men wearing nose rings is seen as feminine. Social taboos circa 2009. But after the lip ring came out, I moved to Manhattan for a summer and developed an “IDGAF” attitude, which led to my final decision to get my nose pierced on a random day in Central Park, sitting outside of a Raphael Saddiq concert.

I said, “I’m gonna get my nose pierced today,” and I took a bus to the LES to do it. 

Now, it’s 2012. And men are no doubt getting collectively fruiter by the day. As evidenced by his pumped-up performance of “Turn Up The Music” at last night’s Billboard Music Awards, Chris Brown has been dabbling with the styles of Tupac. He’s trying to make head scarves happen. And, oh yeah, he definitely

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R.I.P. Donna Summer

These days it seems like our legends are dying faster than we can replace them. We aren’t creating enough legends these days, and now Donna Summer is gone at age 63, passing from the same disease we just lost a Beastie Boy to two weeks ago.

Fuck cancer! I have a place in my heart for Donna. I love House music. House and Disco are closely related (in my opinion). Disco is built off funk. Funk is the backbone to the roots of hip-hop. Donna Summer is the Queen of Disco. It all just runs together, and when I was age seven, VH1 hosted a special concert for Donna during which she performed her classics. And I barely remember it, but know I enjoyed it.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve fallen in love with Donna’s “Last Dance.” We became reacquainted as it was being played as the last song after last call at a gay disco back in Akron. “Last Dance” and “On The Radio” prove that

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Why I Love Blanket Jackson’s Media Scowl

Because of his name, Blanket Jackson caught a bad rap early in life. Blanket. That throws a lot of people off. But really think about it. How bad is that word in a world full of Vaneeshas and baby Lebrons? (No offense, Neesh Neesh) But you’d kind of get used to it. It is pretty literal, but his name could also be Afghan or Throw Pillow Jackson. Then, we’d really be angry.

The poor kid’s first-ever experience with the media ended tragically. Images of Blanket’s overly excited father dangling him to the media sharks someplace in Europe are etched into my mind because national news outlets looped the footage for years. Blanket just hanging there like a floppy piece of meat. A punchline before age 3. That would fuck with your brain early in life.  So this kid has every right to give zero fucks.

His facial expression shows that a care is not given. He can be at the cheesiest promotional event not giving a fuck at any

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New Video: XXYYXX - “About You”

I’m all about anything atmospheric, and I love this song.

Video concept: Chicks smoking weed. I’m down with that, too. Give it an Instagrammed filter, throw in a fox-masked bake out session and this goes from Bitches And Blunts to something more Donnie Darko. But I’m still down with where it’s going.

I don’t know too much about this band just yet (they’re merely a bunch of letters to me). All I know is that they have a logo, and I came across a really boss mashup of this song and 2 Chainz before I even knew that they existed. So check that out below.

Proof That Lana Del Rey Actually Can Sing Live

After her slightly-off and somewhat ill-received performances aired on SNL, rumors sprung up that Lana Del Rey’s people were putting the breaks on any sort of album promo tour happening this summer in order to avoid any further vocal embarrassment. But LDR put those rumors to rest last Friday when she put on a free show in San Fransisco where she signed some albums and hit the stage to perform a few tracks from Born to Die. LDR’s best moment happened when she used her vintage vocals and stage theatrics to put the studio recording of “Million Dollar Man” to shame while shamelessly rocking a pair of Chucks, see above.